


To Ride A Dragon

by Anne_Fairchild



Series: Dragon Series [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sex with an Alien, Unique appendages
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 04:58:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15879027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anne_Fairchild/pseuds/Anne_Fairchild
Summary: A lonely young Dr. Bashir is in need of a shoulder to cry on.  Garak, grateful for his help in the matter of "The Wire", provides one...and more. This story is set, and was written, just after "The Wire".





	To Ride A Dragon

**Author's Note:**

> Written a loooong time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

The Promenade was not particularly crowded on a mid week afternoon, and it didn't take long before Dr. Julian Bashir had the slightly unnerving feeling he was being observed - again. He paused to gaze in a shop window, stealing a glance in the reflective glass. Bashir sighed. Yes, it was Garak all right. Spy he might - or might not - have once been, but DS9's lone Cardassian stood out even in the usual bustle of Starfleet personnel, Bajorans and station visitors.  
  
Bashir was almost, but not quite, irritated. It had been two weeks since he had removed the malfunctioning implant from Garak's brain and the tailor could almost be considered back to normal, except for one thing - his new fascination with Bashir, evidenced largely by the fact that he could often be seen, or sometimes only sensed, observing the doctor from a distance. On these occasions he never approached Bashir and never spoke but seemed content simply to watch him. What was he thinking, Julian puzzled for the hundredth time.  
  
He wonders why I still share weekly meals with him, still speak to him as if nothing has happened to alter our relationship. After the way he treated me, not to mention the atrocities he confessed to, I don't have an answer. The man is still a mystery to me. I considered him my friend, and I have few enough of those. Of course I remember the hurtful words - it's difficult to forget someone telling you they hate you - but they were hurled at me by a man in pain.  
  
He's told so many lies I wonder if he remembers the truth. Or is the truth that not all Cardassians are the same, and that living with the misery of the Occupation and the senseless deaths of women and children can change what a man believes, even a Cardassian? I can't really be angry with him, I suppose. But what does he want?”  
  
Julian turned quickly, but only saw Garak's sleeve disappear behind a column. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, and continued his stroll. This was a walk he forced himself to take almost daily, simply so that he would not spend all his time either in the medical suites or in his own cabin.

He tried to fit in, find friends, socialize, but in his unhappiness it was difficult. He'd even managed to create a reputation as a ladies' man without ever having so much as dated a single woman aboard the station, thanks to the kind, observant Jadzia Dax, who had somehow sensed that his interest in her was not quite what it seemed to be, but had deliberately fostered the game between them so that everyone believed the handsome young doctor had eyes only for the beautiful lieutenant. Thank you, Jadzia.

Garak dropped back a bit, staying in the shadows now.

_He knows I'm following him, but he says nothing. Damn him, why does he have to be so kind? Kindness and compassion are two things I ought to despise, yet they are as natural to him as breathing, and I do not despise him. What does that make me - an inferior Cardassian, or just normal by Starfleet standards? Must I choose? I don't know what I am any more. I don't know what I want to be any more, except that I want to be with him. All that nonsense with Lt. Dax! He's young, bright, and handsome. He could have any man on the station and yet he isolates himself, tortures himself week after week. Why? A man being attracted to another man is not something which humans disapprove of any longer, not for some three hundred years or more according to their history._

_He's full of energy, full of life. He deserves to be loved, and I believe I do love him, if I am still capable of such an emotion._

Garak struck a pillar with his fist in frustration. When he looked up again, Bashir was out of sight.

_Just as well, I suppose._

  
                                                                       *******

  
Bashir sat alone at a back table in Quark's, seeking no company. He had ordered a drink; something strong, he'd told Quark, who raised his eyebrows - or as close to it as he could manage - and brought him something blue, which smoked. His mouth twisted at the bitter, sour taste of the thing, but he felt it warming his insides.

This time, Bashir did not see Garak watching him. He only saw the Polaran ensign, the one who had come aboard three days ago to work with Chief O'Brien.

What am I afraid of? What does it matter here? Oh God, just to be held again, if only for a few hours! The simple pleasure of waking in someone's arms, another body sharing the warmth of the bed. Why do I still miss him so much?

_His eyes are hungry, yet sad. What, or who, has caused him such pain? I suppose I too would bring him pain in the end but not willingly, and I could bring him pleasure. Beautiful boy, I cannot resist your plea even though you are unaware you make it so vividly._

"May I join you, Doctor?"

Caught unaware, Julian started visibly, a momentary fear in his eyes which Garak did not miss.

"Ah - Garak! I'm not staying very long, I'm afraid, but - of course, please sit down," Bashir sighed, his heart pounding. He muttered pleasantries as Quark took Garak's order and brought the drink, as well as a second for him.

“That's powerful stuff, Doctor. I’m not responsible if you decide on another round," the Ferengi was moved to warn.

“It's all right, Quark, I'll keep an eye on him."

“You've already been doing that for quite some time," Bashir returned. The first concoction had loosened his tongue, to his horror.

It was exactly the opening Garak had hoped for,

"The words don't come easily to me, Doctor, but I don't believe I have thanked you properly for what you have done for me, and for your continued support," the tailor spoke quietly. Uneasy without quite knowing why, Julian shrugged.

"I've told you, Garak, I _am_ a doctor, and - "

“Ah, but that had nothing to do with it, did it, _Doctor_?” Garak chided gently.

Bashir tried to read something - anything - in the blue eyes, but could not.

"Well - "

“An attractive man, the young Polaran, is he not?" Garak asked abruptly. At the same time, he extended his hand across the table and touched Julian's wrist in an affectionate gesture which could not be misinterpreted, although it was accomplished so quickly that no one in the room noticed. The young doctor's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak.

“Don't panic, Doctor, and do remain seated or you will surely draw the attention you wish to avoid. If you will take a moment to think, you will realize that I have taken care that your 'secret' is obvious to no one but myself, and perhaps the Polaran were he to glance our way, which he has not," Garak assured him.

“Contrary to what is undoubtedly going through your mind at the moment, I do not wish to blackmail you, nor to expose you. I wish only to be your…friend. If this is not something you wish as well, you have only to say so and I give you my word that I will not mention it again. Only - give it a moment's thought, for both our sakes?" The Cardassian's voice was low, almost pleading.

Julian fought the hysteria which rose in him. As he looked across the table at Garak he now saw genuine warmth in the deep blue eyes. It was the one thing he was most afraid of seeing.

What am I going to do? How can I possibly trust him? He's a Cardassian! Starfleet would - would - How could he know what I was feeling? Not about the Polaran, that's irrelevant, a conversation opener - about _him_. How could he know, when even I wasn't sure until he touched me. He actually _touched_ me, in public. The risk is more his than mine. Homosexuality is still punished by death on Cardassia. How long ago did I read that in the computer library? Only three weeks after I'd met him, damn the man. Oh God, I have to make a choice, now.

Julian pressed his lips together to keep them from trembling. He looked down at his hands, closing his eyes, as if he could shut out Garak, Quark's, even DS9, but everything was the same when he opened them again. He was no longer a schoolboy or a Starfleet cadet. He need not live in fear of his father, now light years away. Perhaps it was time for Julian Bashir to become his own man.

"I don't know, Garak. I just don't know. But I would like to talk. Only - not here."  
  
Garak nodded, weak with relief. He really had not known what Bashir would say, and this at least was not a refusal.

"Certainly not here. We'll go back to my shop," he murmured in Julian's ear, rising. He slipped an arm about Bashir's waist, pressing through the crush of customers towards the door.

“The good doctor isn't feeling too well, I'm afraid. I'm taking him back to my shop so he can rest before going to his own quarters," Garak smiled airily, half-dragging Bashir out the door. To his relief, Quark was busy with a customer and barely acknowledged him.

Once out into the relative peace of the Promenade, Bashir straightened up slightly, attempting to put some space between himself and Garak, but the Cardassian kept his arm in place, where it radiated a tantalizing heat.

Garak did not ask the computer for light. He led the way through to the back of his shop and up a steep flight of stairs to surprisingly large and comfortable living quarters, indicating to Bashir a richly tapestried sofa which seemed curiously ornate; but then, what did he know of Cardassian taste - in anything. He shivered involuntarily, remembering the feel of Garak's hand, hot even through his uniform. He hadn't even known these rooms existed, he thought Garak's other, more conventionally sterile quarters were the only ones he had.

“You do not need another drink my friend, but I'm afraid I do," Garak admitted, pouring himself something brown and hazy from a beautifully decorated leather bottle sitting on a table of dark, polished wood. He sat next to Julian, repeating his earlier tender gesture from Quark's.

"Tell me Doctor, why the subterfuge? Obviously you've fooled Commander Sisko and the others, but why do you wish to? There are no - what is the word - taboos? - in your society against having a partner of the same sex. You are lonely - as lonely as I have been I think, but for you there is no reason to be. Why punish yourself?" the Cardassian frowned, his thumb softly stroking the underside of Julian's wrist. The touch was meant to soothe, not arouse, and Bashir relaxed somewhat.

“How did you guess?" he sighed.

“Come, Doctor, there was no guessing involved. I knew, as you knew," Garak answered. Julian gave a half smile and nodded. He supposed he had known in some way. It might even have been what drew him to the Cardassian in the first place.

"It's true that humans are free to choose their partners, in an ideal world," Bashir acknowledged. "But each of us lives within his own culture and his own family, and these things also shape our lives. My father does not believe in any permanent union other than with a woman, preferably the woman of his choice. I am my father's only son, and it is left to me to carry on the family name and continue the dynasty, for in his culture that is a male obligation," he explained.

"Since I was a very young man - oh, don't laugh! - younger than I am now," Bashir amended, smiling faintly, "there have been arguments, threats, violence, defiance. My father is a very stubborn man, and quite used to getting what he wants.

“Unfortunately perhaps, I share my father's stubbornness. I now have Starfleet, but my father does not have grandchildren and I do not have…anyone," Julian finished softly, unaware of the bleakness in his voice, which pierced Garak like a laser.

Bashir realized that his head was lying on Garak's shoulder and the Cardassian was stroking his hair gently. The earlier drinks had left him quite relaxed and he had no desire to move - physical contact simply felt too good after all this time.

"There's more, I think?" Garak prodded. Julian nodded miserably.  
  
"I had a lover at the Academy. My future was beginning to look brighter at last. I was determined to stand up to my father, so that on graduation we could apply for a posting to the same place. I wanted to come here of course, but it wouldn't have mattered because if Sinjon had been with me, I believed I could have been happy anywhere.

"I was too infatuated to see it then, but Sinjon - I know now that he used me to get what he wanted from my father. Two months before graduation, Sinjon told me it was over between us, that he had great ambitions and I would only tie him down, you know the sort of speech," Bashir sighed.

“I knew my father had gotten to him, had paid him off. I couldn't bear to think of it then, but now I wonder if he ever cared about me at all, or if he only wanted money from the beginning. But it wasn't just that, it was the things he said - not just to me, but to everyone at the Academy, our friends - terrible things. I was horrified. I was so hurt that Sinjon didn't just take the money and leave me, he had to do that as well." Bashir grimaced at the remembered pain.

"When I came here I tried to bury my emotions in work. It wasn't hard at first. Then I flirted with the ladies, even Dax, who I think knew somehow and allowed me to carry on. No one else had any idea. And then _you_ \- "

Garak allowed himself a small sigh, "It would be nice to hear you admit it, Doctor."

Julian felt Garak's lips pressed against his hair, and a comforting squeeze of his shoulder at the end of the emotional recitation. He ought to be extremely wary of this man, who after all had been some sort of spy not so long ago and at the very least was supposed to believe the opposite of what Starfleet stood for.

Instead he felt relaxed, and unexpectedly more cared about than he had in a long while. It was possible that this was all some kind of ploy, that Garak was simply using him for some unknown purpose, but his gut instinct told him that wasn't true. From the beginning there had been something about the Cardassian which made him listen to his inner feelings. He didn't understand it now any more than he had then.

"I was attracted to you," Bashir murmured. "God knows I didn't want to be, but I was. You were everything I was supposed to mistrust, but you fascinated me. I was a bit like a child with a new toy, but I was afraid I might become the toy if I wasn't careful."

"Yet you didn't abandon me when you could have, when it would have been easy for you - even when I tried to drive you away. I don't think courage will ever be your lack, Doctor." Julian heard the warmth in Garak's voice.

"Tell me about yourself," Bashir asked softly. The Cardassian stiffened slightly. Julian reached up and tentatively stroked the ridge which ringed his left eye. It seemed to him that its texture changed under his fingers, becoming warm, and soft as velvet. Garak's eyes closed and he swayed slightly, his mouth curving into a faintly wicked smile.

"That was wonderful, Doctor, but I wouldn't advise doing it again unless you're thinking about staying tonight," he sighed, reluctantly willing himself back to the question. Fair was fair, and Bashir's admission had been difficult.

"There isn't much to tell. As you may be aware, having a mate of your own sex is not permitted on Cardassia, and it is still punishable by death. Love, or even fondness for your partner is extremely dangerous. People still get carried away, but on Cardassia people get found out - and executed," Garak related.

"Your - lover?" Bashir asked. Garak frowned, closing his eyes briefly against dark memories.

"Not once, but twice. I was quite young - even younger than you, beautiful boy! We had been together for only six months, but on Cardassia that was a lifetime. We were foolish enough to be in love. Jedar was executed, but because my family were powerful and rich I was sent to a cursed remote outpost and much later to Bajor, where I was supposed to 'redeem myself', to use my father's words. I don't think I've ever lost the guilt I felt, that Jedar died and I did not. I will always feel his death most bitterly," Garak sighed, closing his eyes.

"That didn't stop me, however. Emotions are powerful things indeed, as you are still discovering, doctor. On Bajor things were a bit less regulated, but there were still those more than happy to inform their superiors of any 'irregularities' among the occupying forces - and Parvat and I were definitely irregular.

"We were both scheduled to be executed, when the Federation arrived. Parvat was killed in - what is the term the Federation uses? - 'friendly fire', by men who knew exactly what they were doing, even if the Federation did not. And I - I hid from the bastards, and I was still here when the Federation took over the station. They soon believed I was harmless enough, and they've left me alone. Quite alone, until now," Garak sighed.

He gazed intently at Bashir, taking the human's face in his hands, caressing bony prominences, planes and ridges softly, almost worshipfully. It was lovely for Julian, starved of touch for so long.

I don't know what I expected, Bashir thought, but it wasn't this tenderness. I haven't misjudged him, after all. He does indeed feel.

“Well, doctor, are you prepared to stay?" Garak whispered, his mouth descending to cover Julian's firmly. Despite his reservations Bashir's mouth opened, a thrill rippling through his body at the taste and texture of a man's tongue again. It would be easy - so very easy, and so wonderful -

Reluctantly, Julian sat up. He smiled, reaching up to mimic his earlier gesture to Garak's face without actually touching him.

“It isn't that I wouldn't like to, but - I think this ought to wait for another night. A night we can plan ahead. For several reasons," Bashir amended somewhat forlornly. Garak nodded.

“For several reasons," he agreed. The sadness in his eyes was palpable.

“I'm not changing my mind, Garak, it's just - for one thing, I have to notify Commander Sisko if I'm to be away from my quarters. I have to think of something to say if someone reaches me here - "

“ _Must_ you worry about all those things?" the Cardassian asked softly.

"This isn't easy for me. I ought to take time, to think."

“As you say, Doctor. There are many things we ought to do."

In the sapphire eyes Julian still read sadness, but more deeply, a simple hunger. A once-familiar warmth began to creep through him, and Bashir hesitated.

"Why me, Garak?"

"Why not? Your enthusiasm, your passion for knowledge, the eagerness with which you greet the unknown - these are all things which I have lost, my friend. And besides - you fascinate me," the Cardassian acknowledged.

Bashir frowned, hesitant once more.

"Is that all I am to you, Garak - a generic human guinea pig, a laboratory experiment?"

"Don't be a fool, doctor! Do you really believe that?"

Hurt was visible on the hard-planed Cardassian face and Julian felt instant remorse. His emotions were bounding from one extreme to the other like a ping-pong ball, and he realized that he was powerless to stop whatever was going to happen between them.

“I don't know. I'm afraid I've gotten out of the habit of trusting people where emotions are concerned," Bashir apologized, placing a hand on Garak's elbow.

“Then I must do my best to persuade you of my sincerity," he smiled, grasping Julian by the shoulders and pulling him close for a tender, probing kiss which was longer and more intimate than the earlier one.

There was no way Bashir could deny the feelings which flooded his body and his mind, and he did not try. There was really no decision to be made after all; every fiber of his being wanted the man who held him.

"By all means, Garak, do your best. I'm looking forward to nothing less," Julian suddenly grinned, reaching up and deliberately tracing his fingertips lightly over the small circular bumps at the upper outer corners of the eye ridges, across to the nose and down, stroking the symmetrical ridges which ran beneath the Cardassian's ears. Garak groaned, a small cry escaping him. He rubbed against Bashir's hand like a cat.

"Clever boy!" he sighed.

His hands radiated a heat which Bashir now craved on bare skin.

"Touch me," Julian whispered.  
  
To Garak, he presented such a perfect picture of youthful lust that the Cardassian had to remind himself that if he followed his natural instincts now there would be no 'next time', and he had never so much wanted _more_ than simple sex with this puzzling, maddening, incredibly arousing human than with anyone in his miserable life.

"All in good time, impatient one. All in good time. First, I would like to undo the wrappings - with your permission?" Garak asked, pushing Bashir back and raising one leg preparatory to pulling off a boot.

The time for speech now past, Julian simply nodded, unable to take his eyes from Garak's face.

He couldn't control his shaking as Garak began to undress him, first unfastening the Starfleet tunic and slowly lifting it up, and over his head. Just as the garment covered his face and his arms were temporarily immobile, Garak leaned forward and tongued one brown nipple circling the areola with a delicacy no one would have believed of him.

Julian's back arched and he gasped at the unexpected sensation, helpless as Garak repeated the gesture on the opposite side, and again, and again, until he was moaning with pleasure before the tunic was removed and laid carefully aside.

Julian's pupils were dilated, his breathing rapid. A rich flush stained his cheeks and mottled the smooth, compactly muscled chest. His pebbled, nut-brown nipples were thickly erect, swollen and glistening from the tailor's mouth. Garak pressed him down, running his hands over the slim body, reveling in its smoothness, its difference to any other he had explored.

_How beautiful he is, how perfect, my lover._

Bashir looked up at Garak, lost in sensation. He reached up to bring the Cardassian's head down, craving the perfect stimulus of mouth and hands. He shuddered as the peaked flesh was drawn upwards into wet heat, crying out as the sensitive nub was carefully gnawed.

“Ah - GOD!" Sharp cries slid into unintelligible sounds of long denied pleasure, mewling soft whimpers of delight. Julian wanted to drown in the delicious sensations. Was it possible his body had nearly forgotten how wonderful this felt?

Garak was entranced by the response, both physical and vocal, that his attempts at pleasuring had elicited. He had expected reticence from the young man, and was surprised and delighted at his partner's open sensuality. He had never been with a human before, and obviously Bashir would be on unfamiliar ground with him as well. Was it simply luck, blind lust - or was it somehow just the two of them together who brewed this odd chemistry?

"I do please you?" he asked, stroking Julian's chest lightly, his face only inches from the doctor's.

"Garak."  
  
He had not remembered until now what it felt like to hear his name uttered as a caress. Garak lowered himself over Bashir, pressing his length against the slimmer body in wordless reply, joyfully teasing, gasping as Julian's pelvis rocked to his in perfect symmetry, feeling a delicious hardness stabbing at his abdomen.

Now intensely curious about his human lover, the Cardassian slid his hands along ticklish ribs until they stopped at the trouser waistband, which he unfastened with trembling fingers. Julian's eyes were luminous as he raised his hips and Garak pulled the rest of his uniform off.

Garak didn't know what he'd expected. Certainly by Bashir's height and build he didn't believe the man would be as endowed as the average Cardassian and he wasn't, but to Garak his manhood was as beautiful as the rest of him. Not so long as his own, but certainly as thick, the organ was a dusky rose, its tip darker still, hungry. It reached out to him, weeping for his touch. Julian groaned, parting his legs, eyes pleading.

_He’s young, and his abstinence has been painful. Still, his pain is physical and easily taken care of, while mine -_

Garak's breath caught in his throat at the expression on his lover's face. He cupped taut testicles in his palm, stretching, squeezing not too gently as he leaned forward and captured the pale nectar with a flick of his tongue. Bashir shuddered, his hips thrusting in need.

Julian was so close to release yet trying so desperately to hold back, that Garak simply wanted to end the unbearable tension for him. He encircled the base of the penis with his thumb and forefinger and stroked firmly once, twice, and Bashir's body stiffened and he emitted a pained cry as he came. Semen spilled over Garak's fist as he milked the younger man until the beautiful rose at last wilted.

Julian struggled to regain his breath and his composure for some minutes. He felt as if he hadn't the strength to lift his head, but at the same time felt warm and peaceful.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled with a sigh.

"Why should you be sorry that you have felt such pleasure and I have been its instrument? I'm certainly not sorry. To see your face as you - You've given me a great deal of pleasure, beautiful boy," Garak smiled, cradling the exhausted organ tenderly, "and the night is still young, after all."

_Should I tell you that I nearly came, just watching you? No, not yet. My fears are different than yours, but they are just as real to me._

More than once tonight Garak had called him boy, Bashir mused, still drifting. From another's lips it would have been an insult, but Julian knew it was meant as an endearment and he acknowledged this with a smile. He was feeling looked after and coddled, and for now at least, he didn't mind at all.  
  
"Doctor, I find I'm beginning to have some rather pressing needs of my own," Garak sighed, shifting his weight. Somewhat abashed, Bashir sat up. The evidence of that need was fairly impressive even when fully clothed.

“Indeed you do," Julian smiled, reaching out to caress through the rough fabric of the Cardassian's trousers, finding his hand full of a familiar hardness. An unbidden vision of himself being plundered by Garak flashed through Bashir's mind and he shivered at the thought.

“I suggest we retire to the bedroom," Garak proposed.

The room was dark, and he did not call for light. He undressed himself quickly, efficiently, draping his suit over a chair, and lowered himself onto the bed beside Bashir in the darkness. He reached out for the younger man, but Julian stopped him.

“No - not yet. I want to see you. I need to see you," Julian insisted, calling for a dimmed light. The Cardassian closed his eyes against Bashir's hungry stare.

He's all hard muscle and geometry, Julian thought. So different, but beautiful all the same. I want to touch him everywhere, explore his body, find out how to please him. I want to please him, so much. Ah God, he's big! His penis has scales, like a dinosaur, or the dragons I read about in fairy tales. I want to taste him, to breathe the smoke and draw the fire. I want to know how it feels to be ridden by the dragon!  
  
"Not a very attractive specimen, even by Cardassian standards," Garak sighed. "And by human ones, rather ugly, I suspect." Garak's admission came with a quiet sigh.

Bashir was genuinely surprised. He shook his head vehemently.

"You are not! Compared to what? Do you imagine I'm shallow enough to compare you to - Garak, I find you - quite remarkable, and I want to get to know all of you," Bashir smiled, moving close beside him.  
  
Julian leaned in for a kiss, one hand holding the back of Garak's head firmly in embrace, the other moving curiously over the scaly chest plate, stroking a nipple which swelled under his fingers. The kiss was hard and hungry, and the more insistently his tongue invaded Garak's mouth, the softer the scales and ridges beneath his fingers became, radiating their own subtle warmth.

Bashir felt Garak relax into the kiss and begin to draw him in. Their tongues danced playfully at first, then came a mutual thrust-and-parry, and finally, hunger resurfaced. Julian now let both hands wander where they would, searching the angular body for all its secret, sensitive places. Garak aided him willingly, guiding his hands, showing him the right touches.

"Tell me, Garak. Is that good? Does it please you?" Julian breathed in his ear, moving his upper body over Garak's so that their nipples rasped, not gently. "Or this - do you like this?" he murmured, moving down to lick at the thick plate of skin which served as pubic hair, sucking the loose flesh into his mouth as it softened for him.

"Wretched boy," Garak gasped. The Cardassian groaned almost continuously, occasional satisfied grunts of pleasure emerging from deep in his throat. When he could manage a coherent thought, he marveled at how quickly his young lover was learning what pleased him - and also how rapidly Bashir could excite him. Perhaps he wasn't an old man yet...

Julian rolled the Cardassian onto his back, leaning on one elbow to stare at the engorged organ with fascination, his face so close that Garak could feel Bashir's breath hot on his thighs.

"How can you believe you're ugly? This is not ugly," Julian smiled.

"If you don't touch me now, I think I'll scream," Garak grated. Bashir seemed to consider that for a moment, as if he might wait for the event.

"Julian!" the tailor barked.  
  
For Bashir, it was like holding a fiery torch which was yet soft as silk. He was not afraid of _this_ , it was beautiful, and he wanted it. God, how he wanted it! Experimentally, he took a scale between his fingers and rubbed gently. Garak hissed, his pelvis arcing towards the stimulus.

Bashir stroked the line of scales, increasing pressure as they seemed to melt in his hand. He nuzzled with his nose and mouth, his tongue drawing a line along the underside of the smoky penis from the pendulous dark balls to the black, bulbous tip and back again. Like a child with a lollipop his lips closed over the head, anxious for that best, first suck - but no sweet had ever tasted like this. Exotic spice, woodsmoke, fire, brimstone - it was all there and more.

"Beautiful dragon," Julian breathed.

_To feel like this, after so long! He calls me beautiful. I could deny him nothing, he is magic to me. I cannot bear this much longer, it is too sweet. I want him, need to feel him surrounding me._

Julian was only a little surprised when Garak stopped him rather abruptly. A sharp tingle of anticipation coursed through him as Garak settled him back on the bed, blunt fingers carding nervously through his dark curls.

"I want you, boy. I don't know the words that humans use. I want to lose myself in your body, to give myself to you. Do you want - "

"Yes."

A word that Garak hadn't heard for a long time. He smiled, leaning down for a promissory kiss which lasted until neither could breathe.

He said 'give myself to you'. I would have thought I was the one who was giving myself to him , but that's selfish. He is giving of himself, in ways I never dreamed. I can't believe it's Garak saying these things to me. Is it because I don't want to believe he can have such emotions - or because I want so badly to believe that he does?

"Don't go away," Garak smiled, rising from the bed and searching in a carved chest. He returned with a small unguent jar which he held out for Bashir's inspection. The pungent odor made Julian's head swim and his cock stiffen. He had no idea what it was, but the scent was undeniably male and richly musky. He could think of nothing but his joining with the Cardassian, heat banking deep in his belly. It would not be easy, but nothing mattered to Bashir now except his overpowering need.

Garak dipped into the jar, the viscous substance glistening on the finger he passed under Julian's nose, smudging the tip enough to leave the scent. He gravely touched the younger man's forehead, earlobes, lips, chin, anointing.

"Close your eyes," he commanded.  
  
Hypnotized, Bashir nonetheless shook his head, sudden fear of the unknown pricking at him. Garak smiled, his eyes gentle.

"It's time to make your choice, Julian. I need you to give yourself up to me now. Please - your trust is important to me," he whispered.

Gazing into the Cardassian's eyes, dark with passion, Bashir took a deep breath and nodded, unable to contemplate any other course. The substance was cool but quickly warmed on his body, dabbed now on throat, shoulders, sternum. Coating his nipples, dotted down his abdomen to silky black pubic hair and finally spread over the tip of his cock to mix with his own wetness. Garak was marking him, as wild beasts identify their territory. Julian groaned with eagerness to be claimed.

Unable to see, every other sense was heightened. His skin felt electrified wherever Garak touched him. He gasped as liquid silk coated the twin sacs, moaning, biting his lip in anticipation of the intimate touch he craved. A warm, comforting hand rested for a moment on his inner thigh as Garak's tongue once again invaded his mouth seeking, giving, wanting just as badly as he wanted what was to come.

 _Fire. Flame_ , flickering at the puckered opening. Frantic in his desire, Bashir bore down on the finger which slipped inside, trying to coax the digit deeper. The sweetness of the feeling took his breath away. He understood that Garak was trying to prepare him carefully, but he only knew that he needed now.

"Garak," Julian whispered. He groaned as a second finger entered him, deliciously cool and slippery with the unguent. He drew in a deep breath, trying to capture the musky scent in his nostrils.

"I know. But I will not deliberately cause you pain, even for ultimate pleasure. Patience, boy. Patience," Garak crooned, stroking, stretching the tight channel as quickly as he dared. There was little need to caress himself. His lover's eagerness and obvious passion were all the stimulation he required.

When neither of them could wait any longer, Garak turned Bashir so that they lay almost spoon fashion. Julian shivered as he felt the head of Garak's sex resting against the entrance to his body. Desire fought fear as his lover pressed into him and he felt the initial pain. He whimpered once, then bit his lip to keep from crying out. He willed his body to relax and was rewarded as he was slowly stretched and filled, Garak murmuring gentle encouragements, teasing an earlobe, nibbling his neck, lips pressed against his shoulder, until he felt the warmth of the Cardassian's pubic plate resting against his buttocks. Julian felt oddly free now, his body accommodating the dragon's lance, succumbing to its will.

“Are you all right?" Garak asked, one hand caressing a nipple as the other stroked Bashir's cock lovingly.

"Ohh yesss. Want you to fuck me now," Julian answered in a husky whisper. The crude words and the blunt sentiment both surprised and aroused Garak. He was beginning to realize that there were depths to the younger man he might explore for a long time to come.

“I don't want to hurt - "

“Fuck me!” Bashir growled, thrusting himself back against the Cardassian. Caution warred with lust, but Garak took the doctor at his word. He began to move, slowly at first.

_I am happily his prisoner; I could stay buried in this exquisite body forever. So hot and tight and beautiful. I must be hurting him, but it's something he wants very badly - too badly for me to refuse him, even if I wanted to. Ahh, yes, squeeze me, boy, that's it. I'm fast coming to the point where I cannot stop. I hope you understand._

Concentrating on the pleasure/pain he had demanded, Julian felt the change in Garak, the loss of control. The sensation was something like an old-fashioned roller coaster ride, the breathless thrill mixed with fear, and the exhilaration of taking the dare. He had always loved the hot feeling of being filled, utterly possessed, but Sinjon had never made him feel like this. With that realization, a weight lifted from his heart and he cried out in exaltation.

The sound, pure and sweet, went straight to the Cardassian's groin. Aware that his time was near he concentrated on Julian, muttering soft obscenities in his ear, making sure the younger man knew the effect he was having and the pleasure he was giving. He squeezed Julian's shaft expertly, exulting in his lover's reactions as Bashir was assaulted on two fronts.

“I can't hold on much longer, boy. I want to see and hear your pleasure, as you shall know mine," Garak rasped.

The impatient organ rumbled in Garak's hand and then erupted, Julian groaning in surprise, like a child disappointed that a longed for treat was too quickly achieved, grasping at every wisp of sensation which tickled him in decreasing spirals.

Garak's hard-fought control was rapidly disappearing. As gently as he could he pulled Bashir to his knees, his grip on the doctor's flanks made difficult as the younger man was slick with sweat.

“Julian - " he rasped.  
  
"Yes, I know. Yes," Bashir repeated, thrusting back with what little strength he still possessed. He was rewarded with the dragon now unchecked. Fire again, and of course pain; it had been too long since the last time. Still, with each blunt stroke against his prostate even that was diminished. The pain of lovemaking was like the pain of childbirth, usually unremembered in the sweet aftermath.

There came a sudden spasticity to Garak's movements, and then hot liquid flowed into Julian’s body. The Cardassian's eruption seemed to Bashir to go on forever; even with abstinence no human male's climax could possibly last this long. Julian let himself to be carried on the wave, hearing the tender beast rasping out his name until at last he was pressed into the mattress by the weight of the body collapsed over him, and he allowed himself the luxury of nothingness.

I can never repay him for this. Look at him lying there, exhausted yet sated surely, for there is the same smile on his face as _there is in my heart. I did not mean to hurt him, and he wanted as much as I wanted, yet I still feel pain at causing his. It will not be like this the next time. There must be a next time!_

Exhausted, stumbling, Garak rose from the bed and went into the adjoining room to clean himself. When he had finished, he brought a basin of cool water and a cloth to the bedside. Julian had not moved. His hair and body were soaked with sweat. The Cardassian's seed spilled from his body, pearly gray tendrils streaking his thighs.  
  
Gently Garak washed the body of his lover, removing the evidence of their passion. He frowned to see the occasional streak of blood mixed with semen, cursing himself uselessly. He lay beside Julian, wrapping his arms gently around the slender body. Bashir stirred, opening his eyes once. He sighed, nestling into Garak's embrace, twining himself comfortably with his lover, drifting back into sleep instantly. Garak's sleep came with less ease, but eventually he also slept, if not as peacefully.

  
  
                                                                   *******

 

Julian woke with his heart pounding, unsure for a few seconds where he was. As memory returned, he realized that it was Garak who had awakened him. He was dreaming, and the dream was apparently not a pleasant one. Perspiration shone on his body in the dim light and his breathing was rapid. He frowned, tossing fitfully.

"Jedar! Father, please - PLEASE!"

With the last word, Garak's voice rose in such anguish that Julian, who believed he knew something of the nightmare's content, shook hard enough to wake him.

"Garak! Wake up! It's only a dream, it's not real! Only a dream," Bashir repeated more quietly once he saw that that his lover was awake. He pulled Garak into his arms, holding him in close silence for several minutes as his heartbeat slowed and his breathing became more regular.

"I'm sorry, Garak. We brought the memories back, didn't we? Was it very bad, what happened to Jedar?" Bashir asked. Garak nodded.

"Since I was so young, my father - my father thought it would dissuade me if he made me - he made me go to Jedar's execution. I begged him, but he didn't listen. I saw him. I saw him die," Garak whispered, shivering.

"Oh, Garak,” Julian groaned, not daring to question how the boy had been executed. Garak, however, read his mind.

"It's a ritual death. First, they cut out his tongue. Then, they cut off - "

“Stop, Garak! I'm so sorry. I wish I could take the pain away, but I don't know how," Bashir cried, rocking the larger man against him, soothing. Garak hugged him desperately.

“You have helped me, more than you know. But these are old memories, and they don't fade easily," the Cardassian sighed. He moved then to pull away, and Bashir felt the reason. From fear or anger or perhaps both, Garak was erect. Perhaps he was embarrassed, or ashamed.

As a doctor and as a man the phenomenon was not new to Julian, and he did not let Garak go, but deliberately pressed his body against the Cardassian's.

"It's all right Garak. It's natural, the body's way of dealing with stress sometimes. It's all right, we'll take care of it," Bashir soothed, rolling onto his back and bringing the larger man with him, encouraging Garak to move against him. The body above him remained still and unresponsive.

"I insult his memory if I - "  
  
“No, Garak. Tonight, you made love for the first time in a very long while and it made you think of Jedar, but that's not a betrayal. You honor his memory, because he taught you the meaning of love. Think how he would feel if he knew that each time you made love with someone you felt only pain, because of him. Come, ride with me," Julian encouraged. Garak hesitated, but then slowly began to move against him. He was not thinking of sex. He needed release, but he wanted comfort more. The two bodies were gentle with each other, unhurried, almost lazy in their sensuous dance to completion, Julian murmuring the things which Garak needed to hear. Bashir didn't realize that this was the kind of love-making which comes of knowing someone well, of making love so often you understand your partner's desires sometimes better than your own. He only knew that with Garak, everything they did felt right.

 _By whatever God he believes in, and by what little faith I have in my own, please don't take him from me!_ the Cardassian begged silently. The tension and sorrow had drained from his body, his genitals now as lax as the rest of him, a rare feeling of peace invading. It had been a long time since he'd allowed himself to have these feelings for anyone. _He trusted me as no one has trusted me since Jedar._ Garak pulled a drowsy Julian close, hugging the other man to him like a cherished possession.

If you hold me like this, I'll begin to think I really matter to someone again. I want to believe, but I'm afraid to trust anyone - least of all you, who've spent your life weaving a tapestry of lies.

Garak whimpered and Bashir softly kissed the broad chest, burrowing into the sturdy shoulder. Julian heard what might have been his name, then a sigh as Garak relaxed into the beginnings of sleep.

It's not going to be easy - but then, when have I ever resisted a challenge?

"Pleasant dreams, Elim Garak," he whispered.


End file.
